Dwelving into the Wilderness

You know i have never really resented being a girl that seriously...until today of course. Shopping at centaurus!
Every islamabadi girls dream!
Brands from both karachi And England in one place!
Hallejuyah Civilisation!. No.
To be blunt it sucks ass. Whereas my brother just has to throw on a jacket and some 'chapals' . We ladies have to fix our dupattas, make sure our clothes are appropriatley baggy or tight (according to whether you have an abundance of over protective brothers loitering around) and then last but not least smother on some suspiciously sticky substances onto our lips ,in some cases our never ending suffering is prolonged by devices like eyeliner or 'surma'. Finally we are ready to set out! Break some hearts! Journey into the Great Perhaps!
Again.
No.
When at last we reach centaurus we have to paste permanently uninterested expressions on our faces, lest some wayward onlooker believe we have emotions.
If you look too excited people will assume you just entered the city from your farm. Look too happy and people will assume you are depressed or just clinically insane.
Look too angry and they will assume you are rude. Yes this plethora of prejedice and judgement has a name.
S-O-C-I-E-T-Y.
Of course to add to our joy we have...
*drumroll please*
The Pindi Buoys!
Confused? Let me define them for you.
Pindi Buoys: (pin-dee boo-uys) adj.
Describes a set of the male species who do not necessarily hale from rawalpindi but nevertheless act like it. Sypmtoms of this disease includes roving eyes that look all female persons (regardless of age and parda levels) Up and Down. Most specimens are known to salivate, have crazy eyes and be exceedingly ugly. (Like seriously Uglaay)
E.g:
*girl wearing dupatta walks by* : Hello Baybeeee *makes kissy face*
*girl wearing hijab walks by* : Hello Baybeeee *makes kissy face*
*girl wearing hijab, abaya and niqab walks by* : Hello Baybeeee *makes kissy face*
*old lady walks by* : Hello Baybeeee *makes kissy face*
You see what i mean?
But to continue. Onto the shopping itself!
Now to be honest we do have a lot of decent shops. The problem is that There Are Too Many. Four Flipping floors of constant walking and dragging bags with no rest. Screw treadmilling this is enough exercise for a the rest of my life. If i was a guy i could just flop down on the ground and close my eyes. Ugh. Ironic that a Y chromosone could make so much difference.
Oh and god forbid we decide that we don't exactly want enough floral prints to last a lifetime and might prefer something a bit thicker ...because you know, It Is Freezing.
The second we venture into the male section for a hoodie or even *gasp* a SWEATER congragulations because all eyes are on Us.
(All the best stuff is in the guys section of outfitters, coincidence? I Think Not!)
Not to mention we have to hoist our purses, avoid tripping on dupattas or even abayas in my case. All this and more makes the simple experiance of shopping a real life  run of the Hunger Games.
Bleh.
Now after a long day of shopping aka Hell all i want to do is burrow under my blankets and have chai and aloo ka somosa. Do Not Judge.
Aloo ka samosa fixes everything. It has the magical properties of Chocolate. But cannot compare to chocolate.
You know This is why we have online shopping. So you don't have to go through Dante's seven levels of hell in one go. Next time I will Olx.com...
Actually i think thats for selling stuff. Oh yes. Now i remember. Olx
Subh kuch bikta hai.
^ Beware this is scarily accurate. I once tried selling my cousin on this.
Long story short. I had 15 buyers. Its evident they haven't met him.
Well bye for now.
I must go drown my sorrows in dood patti.